HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE

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Hey Friends,

I’m back from a nice long vacation to Pensacola with the family. The kids enjoyed the pool, and got to feed gators. I drank rum and gained 5 pounds. Doh! 🤣

Here’s to getting back on track with fitness & wealth building…

Before I left for vacation, I ordered the original, and self-proclaimed first ever self-improvement book, How to Win Friends & Influence People. The Bible may have something to day about being the first “self-improvement” book, but Carnegie did invent the modern self-improvement movement, and literature category.

I’m about halfway through the book. Below are the highlights of what I’ve learned so far…

First of all, and this is important, the Preface includes a revealing story about how Carnegie wrote the book on How to Win Friends as much for himself as for others.

In other words, Carnegie readily admited to having to remind himself often of the techniques and tactics he himself wrote about. Carnegie even relates a self-deprecating story about how he lost his temper at home, and his wife commented, “and there’s the man who wrote the book.”

Meaning, none of us are perfect.

And, as we strive to become the best version of ourselves, it is important to remember not one of us gets this whole life thing completely right. Even the ones who literally write the books.

And the popular podcasters, and media figures who seem to have all their shit together, mess up too. They all do!

Carnegie’s first Chapter is a suggestion on how to get the most out of the book. He suggests reading each Chapter twice before moving on to the next. Which I have done so far, and which is why it’s taking me longer to read it. He also suggests underlining or highlighting important passages which is what I do anyway. Carnegie suggests reviewing the book every month, and practicing the new habits.

Carnegie revealed a survey conducted in the 1930s over two years by the University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools to determine what adults want to study. Questions included “what is your business or profession?” “Your education?” “How do you spend your spare time?” “Hobbies?” “Your ambitions?” “Your problems?” etc. 156 questions in total.

The survey revealed that the prime interest of adults is HEALTH—and their second interest is PEOPLE.

Super interesting.

Yes, we all know that without our health we have nothing. But with the advent of the internet, remote work, grocery & food delivery, AI, and the ability to conduct a life that shields us from society and social experiences, it’s important to remember, human connection is one of the most important aspects of our lives.

It’s also a skill.

Understanding how to make friends, and socialize is quickly becoming a lost art. Which is why this book that is nearly 100 years old, may be more important today, than when it was written.

Part One: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

Notable Quotes:

“My popularity, my happiness, and my sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.”

“Learning is an active process. We learn by doing.”

“You are attempting to form new habits. Ah yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persistence and daily application.”

“…it is foolish to scold. I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute evenly the gift of intelligence.”

“Criticism is futile because it puts people on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves.”

“Do you know someone you would like to change and regulate and improve? Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself?”

“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”

“So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” —Henry Ford

That’s just a taste of the banger info provided in How to Win Friends and Influence People.

If I had to recommend just one self-improvement book, it would be this one, and I’m only halfway through it.

🔥

In this powerful episode, I sat down with actress, writer and producer, Sara Quiriconi. Diagnosed with Hodgkin lymphoma at just 19, Sara overcame multiple setbacks to build a resilient, purpose-driven life in Hollywood.

Sara shared her journey of turning adversity into strength, the power of choosing an empowered life over victimhood, and practical tools for staying disciplined amid rejection and uncertainty.

Discover how Sara uses a strong morning routine, daily writing, visualization, and “rewriting her life as the lead” to create opportunities instead of waiting for them.

When learning to live our best life, Sara is an example of not putting action at the forefront of personal growth.

When motivation is lacking, jumping into heavy routines is the fastest way to burn out. That’s why millions of people are turning to walking as the foundation of their fitness journey.

Walking lets you enjoy the outdoors, clear your head, and practice mindfulness. It’s simple, sustainable, and can support lasting weight loss if you know how much you need. The “10,000 steps a day” rule is outdated; everyone’s lifestyle is different.

With Simple, you’ll get access to habit-based coaching that’s helped users lose over 18 million pounds. Take the quiz to discover your personalized walking target.

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Cheers, and here’s to living an Ascent Life! 🚀
- R. Brandon Long